I want to have a 'head'

I was reading one of Truman Capote's stories, The Headless Hawk. A passage from the story caught me. It says:

"he was, he said, a poet who had never written poetry,
a painter who had never painted,
a lover who had never loved (absolutely)--
someone, in short, without direction, and quite headless.
Oh, it wasn't that he hadn't tried--
good beginnings, always, bad endings, always..."

I just love the ironies enclosed in the passage. It's as if I saw myself in those lines (headless!). Until now, I'm still at a loss-- lost in the career sense. It's not that I didn't try to find my 'ideal career'. But later, I found out there's no such thing since it is only in my imagination, hence the word 'ideal'.

Sometimes, it's just really depressing that at the age of 23, I'm still dilly-dallying on what I really wanted to do. I want to have a sense of direction. I want to have a career that would give me both happiness and security.