Reading my origins

I was reading Edna Zapanta-Manlapaz's Kapampangan Literature: A Historical Survey and Anthology. This is my first step in knowing where I come from. Read. And in time, understand.

At one point it saddens me, realizing that I hardly understand my own language. I tried not to be pessimistic about it but sometimes I can't help it. I understand some words but plenty of them I have difficulty comprehending. The only Kapampangan work I know is the Hymno ning Capampangan. Well, I just know it way back in grade school because we used to sing it in school. Furthermore, I just realized that I have to study first our alphabet before plunging into its literature. I think Capampangan Alphabet differs. Like for example, some uses 'C' in place of 'K'. When they write for example, 'keka' which means 'sayo' in Tagalog, they spelled it as 'queca'. It seemed that I still have a very long way to go before 'really' learning it. It just bothers me in the sense that how come I was able to learn basic Spanish while I have trouble in studying my native language?

I just want to share a stanza of a Kapampangan poem written by Amado Yuzon in the early 1930s. There's a counterpart English translation of it. My reference is the same book I mentioned earlier, Edna Zapanta-Manlapaz's Kapampangan Literature: A Historical Survey and Anthology, page 38:

Palsintan Daca (I Love You)

palsintan daca (i love you)

malsinta cu at mangaibugan (i love and desire )

busal ning sinta mangaibugan cu (in the midst of love i desire)

busal ning pamangaibugan malsinta cu (in the midst of desire i love)

uling ing tau caladua ya at laman (for man is soul and flesh)

ing caladua malsinta ya (the soul loves)

ing laman mangaibugan (the flesh desires)

acu tau cu (i am a man)

inia e mu pagmumulan nung baquet (so do not wonder why)

neng misan buri queng masala ing bulan (at times i want there to be)

at neng misan naman buri queng maralundum (moonlight and at other times)

ing bengi. (i want the darkness of night.)